I CAN MOONWALK!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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