This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
