Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
