I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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