Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
