pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
sarcasm needs its own font
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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