Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
We have so much sex to catch up on
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
