Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
