I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
