sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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