I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
