Dual....:-)
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
