I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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