I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
