I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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