I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
