Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
