also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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