just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
