we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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