Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
