The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
how drunk are you?
Several
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
