Your tits are I can't wait for
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
