elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
