so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
