I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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