I will die if light touches me.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
