There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
