i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
you had me at cake vodka
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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