just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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