I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
