I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Randomize
