All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
