I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I look better un-naked...
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
