So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
