Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
