Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You pole danced in your parka.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
