You work out of a Hotel?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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