hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
