the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
