Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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