the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
