i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
