It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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