my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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