Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
