Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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