That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
