I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
