its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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