apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
