I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I puked a lego.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
